Good morning my fellow optimists! Isn’t it just the best day of your life? No? Well let’s just turn that frown upside down and go to our happy place. Let’s let the sun shine in today. Let’s think positive thoughts and strike our zen poses. Are you ready to puke yet? Yea, me too!
Have you ever met someone so positive that you wanted to punch them in the eyeballs? If not, then you are probably one of the people that I secretly want to punch in the eyeballs. But, let’s get back to the matter at hand.
If you are a dedicated reader of my previous posts, you know that I am, or try my darndest to be, a positive person. That doesn’t mean that I am going to shove that down your throat and tell you that your problems will magically disappear into rainbow and unicorn land just by willing them away. In fact, I am very much like my mom in this regard. I am going to give it to you straight and it’s probably not going to be what you want to hear.
I recently met a mom whose son was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this year. Please don’t misunderstand me when I say “I just give it to people straight.” I mean, I’m not a jerk about it, but I certainly don’t want to paint the picture that everything will “be okay.” Have you ever had someone tell you that in the middle of a crisis? “It will be okay,” they say. What they don’t tell you is that it will be okay once you work through the emotional roller coaster, once you let enough time go by that you feel like you’re finally ready to face the world again, once you put the work in that it takes to be okay.
That’s how I am different. I will tell you that it will be okay, but, it will only be okay if the person going through it wants it to be. For a very, very long time, I wasn’t okay. Sure, the world thought I was okay, and my face certainly showed that I was okay. But, my heart wasn’t okay. I was one of those people who could have easily fooled you by my positivity. By my humor. By my constant good mood. It is all too easy to look at someone and think, wow, they’re just so happy all the time. Look at those celebrities, always looking perfect. Look at all my Facebook friends, with their perfect families and happy kids. It’s not reality, and we are all playing a very dangerous game by getting sucked into all of that. If you know me personally, you know my love/mostly hate relationship with Facebook. I like to peruse every once in awhile, but dag man, what a bunch of fakeness and lies. When you know someone personally, but then you see their posts, you think, uhhhh, yea, that’s not at all the person I know. The person I know yells at her kids all day and tell them to shut up, yet here’s their happy little smiling family with a caption “Love them so much, I am so blessed.” Yet, there they are, putting a reality out there for the world that is anything but. It’s dangerous, especially for young, easily influenced people who see this “perfectness” and compare themselves to it. End Facebook rant.
My point here is, positivity, REAL positivity is hard. Very hard. It’s like any relationship, it takes work every day. I say this all the time to anyone who will listen… Everything in life is a choice. A choice that only we can make for ourselves. You can choose to live in self-deprecation having a whoa is me attitude, or you can choose to do something about it. Nobody can do it for you, nobody can be positive for you. If the choice you are making is for anyone but you, I’m afraid to tell you that it won’t last long. I had someone recently tell me that I was wrong about this and that if we get a disease, we didn’t choose it so not everything is a choice. No, I didn’t choose to get diabetes, but I DO choose my attitude about it.
If you are in a tough situation right now, I am asking you to make a choice today about how you are going to deal with it. You don’t have to be positive every day. That’s not reality. This is very important for you to remember. Just because you make a choice to change your attitude DOES NOT mean you are going to have a good attitude every day. We are human, and we are going to stumble. Do you honestly think that because I write a blog about positivity and perspective that I am positive all the time? Why yes I am 🙂 See, I just fooled you. Start the article over again and pay attention this time!! If you weren’t fooled, keep reading. I’m not. Not even close. I struggle just like everyone else, but my good days far outweigh the bad now. It comes with time, a yearning to be better, a desire to not let things pull me down, an unmatched support system, and the need to help others who are where I was, where I still am some days.
If I have helped you in some small way, you are why I do this. I will never be a person that tells you what you want to hear. You need to know the realities of getting to a better place. But, I can promise you, the hard is what makes it good! Oh the lessons you will learn along the way. Priceless.
God bless all of you, and many thanks for your support!